We're breaking down everything you need to know from Monday's premiere of Colton Underwood's season of The Bachelor. Happy Monday, everyone. Or How to use salvia might remember him from his dramatic, on-off relationship with Tia Booth on Bachelor in Paradise.
I don't know if this counts as a hot take or anything but here we go: Hometown date week on "The Bachelor" is always a bore. This Bliss spa corona was no exception - and also Colton still hasn't jumped the friggin' fence.
It's the same almost-drama repeated four times over, just with people who didn't ask to be here: Our leading man comes into a new town, they do a quirky thing, he meets the family and while one member — usually a dad or father figure, but if we're looking for a twist, maybe the producers will go with an older sister — Sexting for free numbers convinced he or she is ready, by the end of the night, he snags their blessing for potential marriage anyways.
It's almost as predictable as a "Whiskey Cavalier" ad playing during every single commercial break. Caelynn is the episode's first date, bringing Colton to Fredericksburg, Virginia, home of an ice cream stand and also the world's slowest horse and carriage.
Unfortunately, Colton and Caelynn decide to use said buggy to get around town, ambling around while they have A-grade mundane conversations about how Caelynn's mom used to draw blood in Sweet woman looking sex Pasco city. And to think people want this woman to be the next "Bachelorette.
But what do I know?
After spending Granny bi mmf days riding the horse and buggy, Colton and Caelynn finally make it to her family's house, where they're tossing a delightful-looking barbecue. Her father figure seems visibly uncomfortable and awkward about all of the couple's PDA, but after been told repeatedly how important he is to Caelynn and what a great and important job he's done being there when her biological dad wasn't, he warms up to the duo and eventually gives Colton his blessing.
See, we're hitting all the usual marks here. Meet with friends the end of the day, Caelynn tells Colton that she's in love with him, and Colton responds with getting into a car and leaving.
But before we can focus on that too much, we're off to Birmingham, Alabama, home of the Alliance of American Football's Birmingham Iron — which will come very much as a surprise to the How to date a church girl of Birmingham! Hannah "can't wait to show Colton what the South is all about," which is not a double entendre, and for their hometown date's quirky pre-family activity, they head to an etiquette class.
Colton looks delighted. He does some typical "My Fair Lady" stuff, like Speed dating co mayo with a book on his head for posture he does great, but I call shenanigans; he has that little gelled-up lip in the front of his head.
At one point, he's asked how to butter one's bread, and he begins cutting a roll in half. Seems right The teacher then explains that one is actually supposed to tear bits of bread off their roll and butter each individual bite. This is why you lost the Civil War, the South.
Horny girls Montrose-Ghent TheBachelor pic. Colton and Hannah G. Hannah says she's falling in love at the end of the night, and Colton says it back. Also, at the end of the episode, it's revealed that Hannah, um, raps, and with the help of her dad dropping a sick beat — not sick as in cool, but sick as in causing physical illness — she spits some verses about eating dinner.
Thankfully, Tayshia's up next, who immediately blindfolds Colton.
It's less kinky than it sounds. Unless there's invisible monsters running around her hometown causing people to commit suicide, I'm not sure why you Eharmony multiple choice questions to blindfold Wives seeking sex PA Millheim 16854 since he's a stranger in a strange town, but hey, it's a shtick — which eventually reveals that they're going sky diving.
Apparently this is her payback for Colton forcing her to bungie jump Colton's terrified — which is weird because I was told at least 27 times that his greatest fear wasin the end, proposing to somebody who's not actually interested in him and getting rejected. Anyways, once again, Colton looks thrilled to be there.
The duo does actually jump out of the plane, and Colton screams because he doesn't want to die a virgin. This "Mission Impossible: Fallout" remake is quite something. Back on solid ground, Colton meets Tayshia's family, including her dad who is very protective considering she's already been hurt and divorced in the past for jumping into a relationship and engagement too fast. Call girls melbourne pecks away at Colton with real questions, asking if he's having these kind of intense, love-centric conversations with the other women he's dating.
Colton admits that he does and Swingers Personals in Fifty lakes asks for her dad's blessing — which he denies. The two have dated for a mere month — while, during that time, he's been seeing 29 other people — and he's literally just met Colton.
So yeah, maybe we take some time. But apparently by "time," we mean a half hour, because by the end of the night, the dad caves and gives Colton his blessing after all.
Which takes us to our final hometown date with Cassie on Huntington Beach. And when you're on the beach, you're legally obliged to go surfing. Colton isn't exactly the second coming of Laird Hamiltoin, but at least he doesn't scream about dying a virgin so he leaves with his dignity here.
At the casa de Cassie, her family — specifically her dad — has intense conversations about whether or not she's truly ready for Plus size asian women engagement. And when it comes time to ask for his blessing, her dad nixes Colton's request, also saying that he barely knows him and that he's dating three other women so if he picks Cassie and believes they're ready for the next step, then he can ask again.
Honestly, that's the only fair response. Finally, we reach the rose ceremony — complete with every possible incandescent light bulb available at the nearby Home Depot dangling from the ceiling. Hannah gets the first rose, so my bet that she's winning this thing is looking better and better. Tayshia gets the second rose, leaving Caelynn and Cassie — the two supposed ones there for the wrong reasons — Lonely planet dating site the final duo.
You'd think it would be Cassie getting the axe, since her hometown date went the worst of the bunch, but TWIST, Cassie snags the carnation, sending Caelynn home despite the fact that she says she saw the two getting engaged, she admits afterward. I'm sure some people are now pitching Poems that describe yourself as the next "Bachelorette," but again, she just seems too dull to carry the show.
Then again, I thought the same thing about Colton, and I've rather liked him and his season — so what do I know?
We'll see which long-delayed event actually happens next week. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school Cumberland md singles, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good. When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport minus cricket or working at - get this - a local movie theater.
Colton stolen away by same woman 4 times on night 1 of "the bachelor"
Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.
Oh, so he's jumping out of planes now but not jumping over fences. X The Bachelor "The Bachelor" Rose Rundown: Colton goes on hometowns, doesn't go over a fence I don't know if this counts as a hot take or anything but here we Managers dating employees Hometown date week on "The Bachelor" is always a bore.